By Maisuna, M.Y (The Founder of Al-Mustofiyyah Society of Nigeria)
Divorce is a situation where an end is put to a marriage union that was officially formalized. In Islamic law, the term is “Talaq.”According to Abdullahi & Maisuna (5) divorce means to set an animal free which is the legal method whereby a marriage is brought to an end. Doi (168) conceptualises divorce as freeing of the bond of marriage which is expected to be ruled upon in a Shari’ah court of law, having listened to the complainant and the plaintiff and defendant, which may warrant the presence of two witnesses where the knot of the marriage is untied, leading to discontinuance of the relationship. Of course, nothing just happens without a cause. There are certainly many causes of divorce which vary from one part not the world to the other. What then could be causes?
(1) Artificial Love
Many, this day, have no sincere real love for their partners, bit very frivolous in upcoming. Quite number people believe that considerable number of people, especially girls and women marry because money, affluence, status, prosperity and fortunes. How true this is can be judged by every individual’s experiences, but obviously, I guess it is a vice vasa peril. Well, one thing is clear, for he who has married because of money or affluence, either of them comes and goes and it can only bring but temporary codified love, but not permanent. The Glorious Qur’an states: Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one’s] hope (Q18:46).
(2) Lack of home training
“Charity, they say, begins at home.” Referencing Qur’an34:12-19 discuss extensively on how every parent should, with keen interest, train and bring up their children. A child who receives good training can live anywhere without hinges, as for a child who fails to adhere to the home disciplinary tips, will, sooner or later have himself or herself driven back home. Cheeping in a scenario here is a necessity. A woman got married, only for the husband to discover the second day of their marriage that did his new wife wasn’t a good chef in anyway, she nagged in-laws, and one day, made an attempt of beating off her mother in-law, if not for people’s intervention, only Allah knew what would happened! Islam, therefore advocates for good behaviours, good relationship and good cordials. Whoever does righteousness-it is for his (own) soul; and whoever does (does do) against it and your Lord is not ever unjust to His servants (41:46)
(3) Lack of maintenance
Every woman is like a property: car, house, laptop, aircraft, vessel etc. When these are well maintained, they last longer than expected; when they are not, they weary and get worn out. So do women. Why do we call a man, a man? Spending wisely on one’s wife and children is a primary assignment of every responsible man. All fingers are not equal, though. But where a man is okay, the woman/women’s health, economic progress, welfare etc. are all responsible men’s shoulders. The Shari’ah court of appeal in Ilorin, Kwara State, in July, (2013, 148) untied the knot of a marriage Q4:24).The Prophet (SAW) said: The best of you is he who takes care of his family, and I am one. You cannot therefore be a responsible man unless you shoulder the covenant you promised your wife and her immediate family.
(4) Force marriage
Gone are the days when parents ignorantly forcefully married out, especially, their female daughters against their wishes. The Prophetic Hadith, reported by Abu Hurairah (R.A) reiterates:
A Man must not propose to a woman when his brother has done so already. And he must not offer a price for a thing which his brother had already offered. A woman must not be brought in marriage her father’s sister, nor with her mother’s sister and a woman must not ask to have her sister divorce in order to deprive her of what belong to her; she must marry because she wills; have what Allah (the exalted) had decreed for her (Sahih Muslim 38/1408,210).
Islam does not approve of ‘testing and tasting’ before marriage. If such situation is met or arises, then, it may certainly lead to divorce, as it has, in some cases. The decision, in this case, is the woman’s!
(6) Ignorant of Religious Practices and Sects
According to Prophet Muhammad (SAW)…that when nth the end time draws near, there shall be between 70 and 71 religious sects, only one of them will be on the right path, the rest are swayed into Hell fire. Some sects today have misguided their adherents, telling their adherents’ wives but via their husbands that, it is illegal (Haram) to allow or permit their wives visiting their biology parents and families, no matter what condition
Others (leaders of the sects) instructed their followers, to divorce any of their wives, who fail to use long overall females’ dresses popularly known as “NIQOOB.” Be told, many have ignorantly done so. Where is the position of this kind of unobtainable divorce in the ruling of Islam?! Be wise!
(7) Tagged Barrenness
Barrenness is not a tenable solid excuse as cause, for, only the Creator knows what tomorrow holds for everyone. Historically, Prophet Ibraheem (Abraham, in the Bible) got married to his first wife and spent donkey years without conceiving. Nine (99) years of patience wasn’t a joke or a child’s play, yet, his wife (Hajarah) was not divorced. Having married another woman, the Almighty in His Mightiness gave them (wives), each, a humanly mighty child. (Suuratu Hud: 71 & Suuratu Soofat: 101)With Patience, Prayer and penchant, the God of Abraham dies not and He is all ears.
(8) Bad friends and misleading family members
Regrets have sent in for so many couples who listened to, and follow the dictates of bad friends who told their aggrieved female friends that they must have gullibly and foolishly admitted their husbands’ attitude. “Were I to be in your shoes, I would have dealt him mercilessly.” This is a sample of some such friends’ misleading statement. Meanwhile, theirs’ (husbands) attitude is incomparable to their friends’ predicament.
In some societies, making mockery of couples’ economic situation, relationship, and envying them are other reasons. Pock nosing and intruding into to their affairs, causing grudges and conflicts in between them are a common them. (Suuratul Hujurat: 12)
Husbands and wives who are civil servants fall short of this guilt; thought, not all. Imagine a married man who works in Port Harcourt while the wife works and lives Lagos. Visiting each other monthly, perhaps is a dilly-dally thing. Mo familiarization, intimacy, integration, etc. Or, the family ties. If not for the fear of God and self-discipline in many, their marriages would have a story of the past. No wonder the Glorious Qur’an advises: Lodge them where you Lodge according to your means, and do not injure them in order that you straiten them…. (Suuratut-Talaq 6).
POSITION OF ISLAM ON DIVORCE.
It should be carefully studied that Allah, the Law Giver, Is the Creator of all things. He therefore knows better than His Creator. Besides, marriage is path nor course to Paradise in the hereafter if both husband and wife work assiduously to earn it while it could be a short cut to the hottest portion in the hereafter. Islam supports marriage bot frowns at divorce except when it may involve homicide, suicide, especially when it premeditated, or, a method of assassination.
Here, I raise my pen. Ponder over it, avoid divorce where and when it is avoidable, make amends, take corrections, pray fervently against the unknown devil that torment marriage but promotes divorce. Think if the blessed children that are begotten from the knot, and remember, that sometimes, the devil you know may be far better than the Angel, you have never met. Look before you leap. Thank you for reading.